The brand new league yr means previous faces in new locations, the place the cash’s massive and the enjoyment drowns the doubt away.
I hope you learn that to the tune of “Mates In Low Locations.”
Each workforce has made some form of transfer over the past week because the new league yr started, some way more than others. With that mentioned, we now have a a lot better lay of the land after pens had been to paper on new offers, and these are how all 32 groups stack up towards each other.
SB Nation has acquired the official offseason blueprint from the Miami Dolphins, which had fewer steps than anticipated:
- Signal a quarterback with lower than 10 begins to a $60 million deal
- Eliminate everybody else
It’s a daring technique, Cotton, we’ll see the way it works out for them.
Hiring a head coach candidate largely out of left discipline was a letdown for Cardinals followers. Realizing that their quarterback room for 2026 will b Jacoby Brissett and Gardner Minshew needs to be like discovering out your beginning quarterback is Kevin Kolb. Or John Skelton. Or Derek Anderson. Or Clayton Tune.
“Alright, what’s the plan at head coach?” the Browns followers requested.
“Man, what a yr Myles Garrett had. He broke the sack document!” Andrew Berry replies.
“Sure, that’s nice, however did you signal any receivers?” the Browns followers pressed.
“He had 23 sacks. 23!” Andrew Berry gleefully replied.
“Sure, however who’s taking part in quarterback this yea-” and earlier than the followers might end asking, an extremist fan with the X deal with ShedeurIsGod12 hits them with a swanton bomb like Jeff Hardy at WrestleMania X-Seven.
Geno Smith going again to the Jets is like sitting again within the electrical chair after being cleared of all prices. Sadly for the Jets, Smith’s former workforce instantly received the Tremendous Bowl after buying and selling him and the workforce that acquired him was the worst within the NFL. Unhappy trombone noises.
Wan’Dale Robinson is probably not a celebrity receiver, however he’s Julio Jones in comparison with *checks notes* Tyler Lockett, James Proche, Van Jefferson, and Chimere Dike. The signings of Alontae Taylor, Cordale Flott, and John Franklin-Myers are all web positives, as properly.
After by chance getting Maxx Crosby again on the roster to associate with the additions of Tyler Linderbaum (albeit at an outrageous worth), Nakobe Dean, Quay Walker, and Kwity Paye, the Raiders have made loads of good additions to the roster. Now, they should discover somebody out broad for Fernando Mendoza to throw the ball to.
The Falcons someway bought worse at quarterback, which is a formidable feat contemplating their earlier two starters’ decrease our bodies are being held collectively by metallic and hope. On high of signing Tua Tagovailoa, the Falcons have made 14 free agent signings, none of that are notable needle-movers.
Sure, the Panthers had been a playoff workforce in 2025. Additionally they went 8-9, nonetheless haven’t any receiver that resembles a No. 1, misplaced Rico Dowdle, and gave Jaelan Phillips the biggest contract of any participant this free agent interval. There’s simply not sufficient expertise on this roster.
24. Washington Commanders
The Commanders’ protection was prehistoric in 2025. To their credit score, they’ve made a number of additions to get youthful on that facet of the ball. Touchdown extra playmakers offensively would do them loads of good.
Watching the Saints lastly eliminate all of their previous gamers on massive contracts provides me the identical feeling of when my grandparents lastly bought DirecTV in 2010. Plus, the additions of Travis Etienne, David Edwards, and Kaden Elliss are all high quality signings.
The Bucs took a direct cannonball shot to their port facet within the second half of 2025, and so they misplaced Mike Evans and Jamel Dean. The Baker Mayfield energy of hating the whole lot and everybody on the sphere can solely carry them to this point.
The Colts noticed the engine fall out of their automotive within the second half of the 2025 season. However as an alternative of shopping for a brand new automobile , they stuffed the engine again up inside after paying $88 million for it. What might presumably go fallacious?
With John Harbaugh now on the helm, no fourth-quarter lead will probably be protected the for the Giants. Their corps on either side of the ball have a ton of promise, although. They simply want Malik Nabers and Jaxson Dart to remain on the sphere.
Kyler Murray doesn’t must be Joe Montana for the Vikings to achieve success, he simply has to not be J.J. McCarthy, Carson Wentz, and/or Max Brosmer, which must be a softball pitch to hit.
All of the Cowboys want is a protection that isn’t the largest legal responsibility in soccer to giving up deep touchdowns, and they need to discover themselves within the playoff image. The additions of Cobie Durant and Jalen Thompson ought to assist in that regard. Dad Prescott, CeeDee Lamb, and George Pickens are too good a trio to be held out of the playoffs two years in a row.
What do you get once you mix Jim Harbaugh and Mike McDaniel? A workforce that’s extra goofy sideshow than precise playoff menace. That’s nice that you just signed Charlie Kolar – you continue to haven’t any important menace at receiver for Justin Herbert to throw to.
The Bears had been probably the greatest tales of 2025 – in addition they received eight one-score video games, which by no means sustains over a number of seasons. Caleb Williams is as clutch a quarterback as there’s within the NFL, however he must be extra constant and fewer turnover inclined in massive video games.
The Steelers have had an superior, and really energetic offseason, including the likes of Michael Pittman Jr, Rico Dowdle, Jamel Dean, and Jaquan Brisker. Sadly, all of it means nothing in the event that they don’t have the correct quarterback. All of us assume it is going to be Aaron Rodgers once more, however he’s someplace sipping on a coconut searching for new angles of the Zapruder movie. If it’s Rodgers, the Steelers will probably be aggressive. If he retires and they’re left with Mason Rudolph, Will Howard, and/or a rookie, it’ll go south fairly fast.
Regardless of C.J. Stroud opening the final two weeks of the Texans’ season seeing ho many occasions he can provide the opposite workforce the ball, Houston is in a high-quality spot. They want him to guard the ball, however their protection is among the greatest within the league and so they’ll be within the playoff hunt in 2026.
The Jaguars misplaced each Travis Etienne and Devin Lloyd. James Gladstone isn’t too apprehensive about that, although, as a result of it would end in them getting the 99th and one hundred and thirty fifth decide within the 2027 NFL Draft.
I’ve lengthy been a Trevor Lawrence truther, and the receiving corps seems to be terrific. I might have favored to have seen them be extra aggressive to replenish the lack of two superstars, although. I’ll transfer them into the highest 10 if Tony Khan places Trevor Lawrence on an episode of AEW Dynamite.
I can hear everybody within the higher northeast yelling at me. We’re all properly conscious that the Patriots had been simply within the Tremendous Bowl. Do I believe they’ll do it once more in 2026? No. Plus, they might profit from one other massive offensive addition.
Alright, let’s hit the double whammy of irritating each Tremendous Bowl groups’ fan bases. The Seahawks misplaced Kenneth Walker, Coby Bryant, Tariq Woolen, Boye Mafe, and Klint Kubiak. The workforce isn’t the identical because it was in February, in order that they don’t simply get penciled in because the No. 1 workforce.
Someway, the Bengals are the one workforce that didn’t hearth their head coach, regardless of lacking the playoffs for a 3rd consecutive yr. That additionally will be the purpose a lot of you’ll marvel why they’re ranked so excessive. It comes all the way down to a wholesome Joe Burrow and that offense. Had he not gotten injured, Cincinnati seemingly would have been a playoff workforce, regardless of their poor protection. If No. 9 stays wholesome by way of 2026, they’ll be again within the postseason.
Very like the Bengals, the Lions are loaded offensively. They missed out on the postseason in 2025, however you’d be hard-pressed to discover a higher offense when they’re in sync. New offensive coordinator Drew Petzing must be a giant improve from John Morton and assist get Detroit again to being persistently harmful.
Micah Parsons getting injured sucked loads of air out of the Packers’ sails late within the season, and shedding the best way they did to the Chicago Bears within the playoffs is as heartbreaking as loss as you’ll see. Nonetheless, with a wholesome Parsons and a high 10 quarterback in Jordan Love, Inexperienced Bay continues to be one of many NFL’s high threats.
The employees the Ravens have constructed is A+. Jesse Minter at head coach to run the protection with Anthony Weaver, in addition to Declan Doyle at offensive coordinator are all terrific hires. If there are any points with Baltimore, it’s their age defensively and their lack of depth offensively.
All of us get force-fed the Eagles and the NFC East yearly. It’s exhausting to discover a week the place not less than one NFC East workforce isn’t in prime time. Nonetheless, that is probably the most fascinating Eagles workforce in a very long time. After a protracted season of out of doors noise and drama, Philadelphia might rebound and win a bunch of video games or go 6-11 which results in Howie Roseman firing Nick Sirianni and transferring on from Jalen Hurts. They keep close to the highest of the ability rankings, however they are going to be beneath a magnifying glass in 2026.
Very humorous to observe Broncos followers have a collective eye twitch for every week as a result of they made no exterior signings, just for Denver to commerce for Jaylen Waddle. Properly finished to all concerned.
With the addition of Waddle, the Broncos’ offense will get way more harmful. So long as Bo Nix doesn’t spend the season overthrowing him.
The 2026 Chiefs are going to be a mutant hybrid of the 2018 Chiefs and the 2024 Chiefs. Their offense goes to be much better with Eric Bieniemy returning, in addition to the addition of Kenneth Walker. Defensively, the secondary will take a step backwards, however they nonetheless have one of the best defensive coordinator within the sport on the sideline. They’ll hover as a center of the league protection with a high 10 offense. Run from all of it you need, however the Chiefs will win the AFC West.
I initially had a typo on this part, however just like the Payments, I made a decision in charge it on Sean McDermott and transfer on with my day.
The employees that Joe Brady has constructed, headlined by defensive coordinator Jim Leonhard, is stellar. Certain, they gave up an excessive amount of for D.J. Moore, however that’s what occurs if you end up determined for a Tremendous Bowl berth.
Whereas their season led to an exhibition squash, nobody would have guessed the 49ers would have made it to the divisional spherical with Nick Bosa, Fred Warner, George Kittle, Brandon Aiyuk, and Brock Purdy all lacking important time through the season, the previous three of which suffered season-ending accidents at completely different factors, and Aiyuk didn’t go well with up in any respect. Including Mike Evans into the fold to provide them a real No. 1 places them comfortably within the high 5, as long as they keep wholesome.
That mad lad Les Snead put the inexperienced goblin masks again on and commenced buying and selling picks like they had been burning a gap in his pants. Even after buying Trent McDuffie, it was reported that Snead tried prying away A.J. Brown from the Eagles, regardless of already having Puka Nacua and Davante Adams. What a GM, and what a roster that has gotten higher two months after making a run to the NFC Championship Recreation.
