Because the prophets as soon as foretold: the pinnacle of the Workplace of Response and Restoration on the Federal Emergency Administration Company (FEMA) is affected by webwide ridicule — and simply because he advised the world that God Almighty Himself decreed that he should be at a Waffle Home and teleported him there straightaway. Who would have hassle believing that? In spite of everything, there’s a lengthy, proud custom of partaking of sure liquids and/or substances and realizing that you have simply gotta go to Waffle Home, after which it goes all black, however anyway you then’re at stated Waffle Home. Actually, this may solely be the need of God made manifest, each in how you bought there and in addition simply how good these waffles actually are.
Gregg Phillips was already a little bit of a controversial selection to move the Workplace of Response and Restoration. It is a vitally necessary group, the members of the federal authorities tasked with monitoring pure disasters and figuring out how greatest to assist the affected inhabitants, per the New York Occasions. It has 1,000 personnel and $300 million at its disposal (or not less than, it does when its father or mother Division of Homeland Safety is not shut down). To steer it, you’d need somebody with deep expertise at emergency response or not less than working a big group. However in December, it obtained Phillips, most well-known for being an election truther favored by President Donald Trump.
His most notable achievement earlier than that was being run out of the Texas state well being division after steering a further $20 million to a contractor that wasn’t imagined to get it, per Chron. See? When Phillips is round, one thing that is imagined to be in a single place simply miraculously seems in one other. God be praised!
Divine will and divine waffles
Actually, Phillips is a selected one, for God has blessed him not as soon as, nay, however twice with teleportation. As he revealed on the Onward podcast and as reported by Individuals, the primary time he was teleported, it was whereas he was in his automobile… and lo, it was right into a ditch. Hallelujah! Simply outdoors a small-town church, no much less. “It was an extremely horrifying second to expertise your self in your automobile, flying by means of the air,” he stated. No kidding.
However although he could be weary, God but had extra to ask of him, for in a while Phillips was along with his “boys” and expressed a want to go unto a Waffle Home. And yay, although the closest one was an unfathomable 50 miles away, by some means, he opened his eyes… and was in Rome! No, not contained in the majestic Vatican Palace: he was in Rome, Georgia, inside its Waffle Home. He didn’t reveal unto us what saintly work was executed there, however it could have concerned waffles and probably hash browns.
For some purpose, individuals are mocking him about all this. He insists his phrases have been taken out of context. Think about that: one thing that was in a single context, however then miraculously was moved into one other context. Who might imagine it? He does say that he was present process therapy for stage IV bone most cancers on the time, for what it is price. And anyway, Phillips says it is clearly false that he claimed he was “teleported.” This was God! That is “translation” or “transportation,” not this foolish sci-fi stuff.
Within the meantime, FEMA is withering on the vine. Trump has repeatedly singled out the company as one he’d prefer to do away with, and whereas he hasn’t gone that far but, the company shed 10% of its workers in 2025. It additionally stopped renewing contracts for a lot of its workforce in January, though only a few weeks later, it all of the sudden realized it wanted individuals to cope with winter storms and began renewing once more. With wildfire and hurricane season developing, the company actually wants a gentle hand. What it has is a person moved by the hand of God. To a Waffle Home. Or a ditch.
