Touring to Estonia to Freeze My Eggs Was the Most Empowering Journey I’ve Taken

For Journey + Leisure’s column Touring As, we’re speaking to vacationers about what it’s prefer to discover the world via their distinctive views. We talked to company social duty director Tess Murphy about her journey to freeze her eggs in Estonia till the time is correct. Right here’s her story… 

Once I was 28, I had simply gotten out of a long-term relationship and a coworker was speaking about egg freezing. She was 36 and stated the one factor she wished she’d identified was to do it when she was youthful. I had been occupied with it myself, however egg freezing is dear — about $10,000 to $15,000 within the U.S. — so it isn’t one thing anybody of their 20s can tackle.  

Plus, I’ve at all times been an avid traveler. I backpacked for 2 years and lived in Africa for six months. I used to be fairly nomadic in nature and led a life-style that wasn’t arrange for a long-term relationship. However once I settled in New York, I began relationship and realized motherhood was additional off than I believed. So, proper earlier than my thirty third birthday, I made a decision to freeze my eggs.

I first reached out to my HR division to see if it was lined by insurance coverage. Some corporations pay for egg freezing, however I discovered mine does not. My gynecologist referred me to a fertility clinic in Manhattan and I went in for testing. They stated I used to be a viable candidate and would ship the bill. 

Once I bought the e-mail, it was a invoice for $12,000. I used to be shocked. I started to consider cost plans. I used to be already paying off my automotive mortgage and making use of for grad colleges on the time — all of it felt too overwhelming.  

Then, I noticed a chunk in The New York Occasions titled “Have Eggs, Will Journey to Freeze Them,” with three tales of ladies who froze their eggs in Europe, the place it is less expensive.

I began reaching out to European clinics and had consultations with one in Spain, the Czech Republic, and Estonia. You may’t analysis your means into this resolution; you actually have to decide on the clinic that feels proper to you. I had a Zoom name with the medical doctors in Estonia — they had been all girls and their heat exuded via the display screen.

I needed to pair the journey with a marriage I had in Europe, so I had the session in April and booked the process in June. It was fairly fast — I did not need or want extra time to consider it.

The clinic despatched me a schedule. I’d go on contraception the month earlier than to regulate my cycle. Then, I’d must inject myself with treatment for 2 weeks earlier than the process. This included two several types of hormone medicine: one within the night and one within the morning to start out a couple of days in. The primary dose is timed to the second day of your interval.

For me, that occurred to be the evening of the marriage I used to be attending. It felt surreal to be at this medieval fortress in Scotland, surrounded by my associates. It was one of many final weddings in our buddy group; I already felt the passing of time and that we had been all coming into a brand new part of life. I used to be nervous about beginning this fertility journey, however open-minded. The taboo round this matter is ridiculous. Girls have these very actual points we should always all speak about.

Each nation is totally different, however I had a couple of week earlier than I wanted to get to Estonia for my first appointment. I spent that point touring to London after which to Finland to go to a buddy. I took the boat from Helsinki to Tallinn for my first appointment, the place they checked out how the follicles had been rising.

The factor the clinic burdened is that the injections must be achieved on the identical time every single day. So, you do must type of drop what you are doing and determine it out. Whereas I used to be touring, the alarm would go off in probably the most ridiculous locations.

I would be on a practice touring via the countryside from Edinburgh to London and my alarm would go off. The practice was rocking, however I went to the lavatory, cleaned, and injected it. I’d be in a sauna in Finland and I might hear the alarm going off within the locker room. I bought out and injected myself after which went again into the sauna. I did it on the ferry throughout the Baltic to Estonia. I did it within the rest room at one among Helsinki’s greatest eating places, Baskeri & Basso. It didn’t really feel as heavy emotionally as a result of I used to be seeing all these locations. 

On the first appointment, they did an ultrasound and instructed me to return again in three days for one more examination as a result of the eggs must be precisely the precise measurement. In the event that they’re too huge, your physique will drop or launch them. You don’t need that to occur as a result of they should catch them. 

So, I went off to Pärnu for the Midsummer pageant after which hopped again to Tallinn for one more ultrasound. They instructed me when to take the set off shot, which is normally 12 hours earlier than retrieval — it triggers the eggs to get launched. 

It was useful to have my journey bookended by associates. I began on the marriage ceremony after which went to my greatest buddy’s place in Helsinki. My different buddy from school additionally flew in they usually threw me an egg going-away celebration. I walked right into a courtyard and there was a bottle of Champagne and an egg-shaped cake that learn, “Bon Voyage Eggies.” 

That really made me extra emotional than the egg freezing. It is a recognition of different milestones in life which might be value celebrating past the standard moments, like having children or getting married. There are such a lot of different decisions girls make which might be value celebrating in the identical means. 

That stated, it was very nerve-wracking. I had no concept what to anticipate. However the second I walked within the clinic, I felt comfy. I noticed the ladies I noticed on Zoom. Whereas the language barrier was robust, they reassured me. There have been some medical doctors who did not converse English, in order that they introduced in translators. I requested plenty of questions, in order that was a problem.

Total, they made the method really feel regular and low stakes. The process is 20 minutes lengthy. You stand up and depart after. I flew residence the following day. Demystifying that’s so essential for girls who’re debating the fee, ache, and process. 

The process wound up being about 1,800 euros, plus extra for the medicines and consultations. I in all probability spent just a little south of $5,000. In New York, I’d have walked away with a invoice within the vary of $13,000 to $15,000. On high of that, the storage is about $1,000 a yr within the U.S., whereas it is a couple of euro a day in Estonia. I am contemplating going again for one more spherical of freezing since you normally want one to 2 rounds. And usually, the extra eggs you may have, the higher. 

If and when I’ve a baby from these eggs, I’ll have extra of a connection to Estonia. Proper now, it simply felt like a blip, virtually like a enamel cleansing. However at some point, it may very well be my youngsters which might be saved there.

In the mean time, there’s extra life I need to reside earlier than I turn out to be a mom. The truth is I’ve associates who’re mothers they usually do not have the identical choices or freedom. I will Oxford to get my MBA. I am 35 proper now, so who is aware of? I might look again once I’m 40, and say, you did not have as a lot time as you thought. However I believe I will revisit it in a couple of years. 

Journey offers the area and freedom to discover who you might be in a means that’s unencumbered by expectations. It gives a way of independence. When you open your self as much as the world, the world will open itself again to you, and also you be taught that the issues that appear scary are literally not that scary. 

That is ingrained in egg freezing as nicely — and having these two interlinked is highly effective. I am a agency believer in making selections not rooted in concern, however in what is going to develop your life in a wealthy means.

I nonetheless do not know if I need to be a mother. However I do know, like with every thing in life, having choices is empowering. And making a call based mostly in your desires and wishes, as an alternative of what society and your biology tells you, is essential. 

Girls have an choice and this was me investing in my future me in order that I’ve that alternative once I need to make it, proper once I’m able to.